Scheduling Appointments

French Word of the Day: incommode (awn-co-mode)- inconvenient

Because (clearly) I’m trying to use all my vacation days for 2013 before the end of January, I had another doctor’s appointment today.

My chemo sessions are going to be a bit longer than I thought.  They’re a 6 hour affair.  Why do they need 6 hours?  That’s a good question.  I’m guessing they’re taking me to a musical as part of the treatment.  Everyone gets some chemo at intermission.  (Sidenote: do you think my fellow chemo-ers would be receptive to a sing-along?  I think I should bring my guitar.)

The sessions will start either February 6th (two days after my birthday- happy birthday to me) or February 13th.  As soon as I heard this, I mentioned that I have a Lady Gaga concert on the 13th that I cannot possibly miss because, you know, I have my priorities straight.

I’m convinced that being a health specialist is the best job in the world; they never work.  Trying to schedule an appointment generally goes like this:

Patient: Okay, I work Monday through Friday from 8 am- 5 pm, like everyone else in America.  Do you have any times available when I’m not at work?  Preferably 7 am or a Saturday.

Scheduler: Well, Dr. X only has hours from 2-3 pm on every 3rd Wednesday of every other month.

Patient: Seriously?  That’s an hour, not hours.  How does this clinic even make money?  Do you only see 5 patients in total?  I just don’t feel like this is a good business model.

Scheduler: So does next month at 2:45 work for you?

Patient: Not really.  I have a huge presentation at work.  When’s the next appointment?

Scheduler: 2015.

Patient: Next month at 2:45 is fine.  I can find a different job.

Lupus patients see several doctors at once because our whole body is being attacked.  You basically have one doctor per organ, plus your main lupus doctor.  I have so many doctors that I constantly forget all their names.  This only becomes a problem when one of them has to send a letter to another.  (“I’ll let your dermatologist know.  What’s her name?” “Um… I should know this…. It starts with a ‘W’?  Does that sound right?  To be fair, she doesn’t know my name either; she has to look at my chart to figure it out.”)

Trying to organize all these doctors has become a military effort, but I’m up to the task.

Half of the dots represent doctor's appointments, the other half involve food.
Half of the dots represent doctor’s appointments, the other half involve food.